Friday, July 15, 2011

Thou Shalt Sing!

As a kid growing up I was blessed (without realizing it) that our family ate together. Sometimes we ate in front of the TV, but more often we ate around the big wooden table in the kitchen. One of the things instilled in me as a result was the dinner table etiquette. I assume each family has there own ‘house rules’ but I’m sure many are the similar. We learned how to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when passing and receiving the mashed potatoes. We had to ask to be excused from the table. Belching was a big no-no (despite our attempts to convince our parents that it was a complement…). And saying, “Yuck” or “I don’t like that” became a death sentence because when those words were uttered you were served an extra spoonful. You quickly learned to think twice before you criticized your plate. Of course if you simply just left the inedible food on your plate untouched then came the ominous threat of “Eat it or wear it” (ominous then…hilarious now). However, it was mostly an empty threat. I say mostly because I can recall some form of food being dumped upon one of my siblings. I don’t remember who, but it was probably my brother…

Those were some good rules with good intention behind them. But there was one ‘house rule’ that never made sense to me. The rule was “No Singing at the Table!” I always thought (and still do) that it is a stupid rule. Looking back as a parent myself I can only assume this rule was enacted because singing at the table must have distracted us from eating (and it was likely true…I would’ve sung till dawn if it meant I didn’t have to eat my brussel sprouts…).

So when I grew up I swore to myself that there would be no such rule at my table. I actually think singing at the table is one of the best things a family can do together. Nothing goes better with good food and drink than a good song. So the rule at my house is "Thou Shalt Sing!"

One of the things I’d like to do is to be more intentional about singing at the table. So far it’s just been willy nilly. The other night we did an impromptu ‘Guess the movie by what song I sing’ game that lasted until after the table was cleared and it was a blast. I need to be more deliberate about doing things like that. What a great time to introduce your kids to one of the great hymns. Maybe incorporate a hymn before the meal that is offering thanks to God. My son thinks everything is a drum. The table is a sturdy place to teach that boy some rhythm!

Of course we want our kids to have table manners and we want them to eat what’s on their plate, but what is more important than table manners, and even more important than finishing every last bite is the ongoing character shaping experience of joy that is found in a family fellowshipping together. I want my kids to remember that our times at the table were times of joy. Times where we not only talk about God, but sing about Him. I want them to remember good food and good fun. When I’m an old man I want to hear them tell stories about their time around the table that causes us to laugh until it hurts.

Singing is so rare outside of the realm of commercialized entertainment that it is almost weird for people to sing together. I want my kids to be weird. I want them to be countercultural. I want them to value song and singing together as much as they value food and eating together, and the dinner table is the most natural place for these things to take place.

Trying to become more intentional about singing at the table is just one part of developing that joyful experience of eating together. In the future I'll post about other fun things we try to do around the table...like Crazy Hot Dog Night...

Do you sing at the table?

2 comments:

  1. Great blog! Family dinner time is so important!

    I didn't sing at the table but my mom did. She always made up songs on the spot, usually about what food we were eating (I still remember such lyrics as "stick a pickle up your nose, and watch as it glows" or "yogurt can hurt, especially if it's burnt." and we would just roll our eyes at her and go "mo-oom, you are weird."

    I can especially relate to the threats of more yucky food if you would mention that a food was yucky. We were allowed to critic the food at our own house, but never at someone else's house. Every Sunday we would visit a different supporting church and therefore eat at a new person's house every week. We were told if we ever told them their food was gross, my mom would fix it the rest of the week. Being the BRILLIANT kids that we were, we realized if the food was delicious, all we had to do was tell the host how gross it was and my mom would serve it the rest of the week. My mom caught on quickly though, especially when most of what we called gross was dessert! We didn't get away with it...

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